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Grandpa's a veggie
Dan C
05.08.2011 - 01:20
05.08.2011 - 01:20
get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
beating."
"Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
--
"Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
"Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
"GlennR"
05.08.2011 - 06:33
05.08.2011 - 06:33
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
A young woman is walking on the beach one day, when she sees Dan C in a wheelchair
on the pier, weeping. She walks over and asks him if he's ok, if he needs any
help, etc.
Dan C looks up and says "That's very nice of you to offer, but I don't think you
could help me. You see, I've been in this wheelchair my entire life. I've never
had a girlfriend, never even properly been kissed."
The woman thinks a moment, then decides 'Ah what the hell'...leans over and plants
a long, wet, passionate kiss on him. He gives her a small smile and says, "That
was nice, but y'know, I've never been fucked either." The woman rolls her eyes,
takes her foot and shoves the chair into the sea.
"There ya go, now you're fucked."
"GlennR"
05.08.2011 - 06:35
05.08.2011 - 06:35
on her bed. Dan walks in and says, "stop that you look silly, why are you
jumping?" Wife answers, "I had my mammogram today and they said I had the breasts
of an 18 year old!" Dan answers, "Well, what about your 45 year old ass?" The
Wife replies, "Your name didn't come up."
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
"GlennR"
05.08.2011 - 06:41
05.08.2011 - 06:41
Q: How does a hillbilly mom know that her daughter's having her period?
A: Her son's dick tastes different.
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
A: Her son's dick tastes different.
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
"GlennR"
05.08.2011 - 06:42
05.08.2011 - 06:42
What do you say to a hillbilly woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You done told the bitch twice.
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
Nothing. You done told the bitch twice.
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
"GlennR"
05.08.2011 - 06:43
05.08.2011 - 06:43
Why do you refuse a hillbilly virgin?
If she ain't good enough for her dad, why should she be good enough for you?
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
If she ain't good enough for her dad, why should she be good enough for you?
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
"GlennR"
05.08.2011 - 06:45
05.08.2011 - 06:45
A hillbilly takes his 12 year old daughter to the gynecologist for her first exam.
The gynecologist asks "Is your daughter sexually active?"
The man thinks about this for a moment and replies, "Naw, mostly she just lays
there like her mother."
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
"GlennR"
05.08.2011 - 06:48
05.08.2011 - 06:48
If a man and woman from West Virginia get divorced...
are they still brother and sister?
What has 100 legs and 4 teeth?
The Miss West Virginia Pageant.
A girl from West Virginia asks her father if she can borrow the car that evening.
He says yes... if she gives him a blow job. She goes about the task, and when
she's finished, she says "Wow. That tasted like shit"
The father replies,
"Yeah, your brother borrowed the car earlier today."
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
are they still brother and sister?
What has 100 legs and 4 teeth?
The Miss West Virginia Pageant.
A girl from West Virginia asks her father if she can borrow the car that evening.
He says yes... if she gives him a blow job. She goes about the task, and when
she's finished, she says "Wow. That tasted like shit"
The father replies,
"Yeah, your brother borrowed the car earlier today."
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
"GlennR"
05.08.2011 - 06:52
05.08.2011 - 06:52
Q: What is the last thing Jesus said to the Hillbillies?
A: Don't do anything until I get back.
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
A: Don't do anything until I get back.
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
"GlennR"
05.08.2011 - 06:55
05.08.2011 - 06:55
What's the definition of the perfect hillbilly woman?
She's three feet tall, she has no teeth, and there's a flat spot on the top of her
head where you can set your beer.
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
She's three feet tall, she has no teeth, and there's a flat spot on the top of her
head where you can set your beer.
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
"GlennR"
05.08.2011 - 06:57
05.08.2011 - 06:57
Why do hillbillies put duct tape around a hamster?
So it doesn't explode when they fuck it
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
So it doesn't explode when they fuck it
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Dan C" <email@anonym; wrote in message
news:pan.2011.08.04.23.19.email@anonym...
: An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to
: get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait,
: the ER doctor appeared in his scrubs and a long face.
:
: Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still
: beating."
:
: "Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks
: shocked. "We've never had a Democrat in our family before!"
:
:
: --
: "Ubuntu" -- an African word, meaning "Slackware is too hard for me".
: "Bother!" said Pooh, as he dropped the razor on his gonads.
: Usenet Improvement Project: http://twovoyagers.com/improve-usenet.org/
: Thanks, Obama: http://brandybuck.site40.net/pics/politica/thanks.jpg
:
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